you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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