when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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