just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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