Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
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nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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