he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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