I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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