I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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