Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize