I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This can only be settled by a dance off.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
