This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
