Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
