I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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