Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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