we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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