I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
