weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Randomize