What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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