I don't think brook has ever known best
Ketchup is God's man juice
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
