My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
