all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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