I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
