Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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