I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
