I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
