Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
