Kiss
Puke
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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