Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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