OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
