Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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