Dual....:-)
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
