look no pants
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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