Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
