Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
