I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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