I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
