If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
