Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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