How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
