why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
