Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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