Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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