Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize