Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
