dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
