HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
