Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize