i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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