areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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