We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So vagazzling was a success
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
