no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
