I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
