I wanna bring you to show and tell
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize