I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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