I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
