He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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