I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
