I heard we made out
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
