I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
