Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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