Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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