At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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