I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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