All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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