Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
